No. 25: The Trouble with Andrew

MINNPOST journalist Mike Cronin published a touching article on 06/17/14 about Carry Lifestyle advocate, Andrew Rothman, and his struggles as a white man.  Rothmann laments that not enough white Minnesotans share his fear of the world outside their homes.  The following is a long-overdue correction to that article.

 

Herr Rothmann, Wunderkind

If one were to draw up a list of organizing principles that guide Andrew Rothman, defending his mid-life adaptation of Dungeons & Dragons would be near the top.  Instead of dominating awkward peers wearing head gear and fanny packs, nowadays Rothmann takes out his frustration as unsung prodigy on the good people of Minnesota.  And what better way to do it than with loaded handguns?  

Maybe all those wet willies he suffered in study hall took a toll.  Maybe he was overlooked for middle management once too often.  So what?  Rothmann and nearly 200,000 other Minnesotans now compensate by proudly living the Carry Lifestyle.   It’s the ultimate board game played on the floor of the state legislature.  Rothmann’s gamer obsession for fantasy, trivia and revenge all rolled into one tidy package.  This time cool kids are on the outside looking in going, “What the fuck, Rothmann?”

20 miles from the relentless warzone that is Minneapolis, Rothmann lives on a quiet cul de sac in bucolic Chanhassen.   He embraces the predictability of outer suburbia but strongly encourages timid people like himself to arm themselves - just in case.   You never know.

“I don’t have a particularly dangerous lifestyle and I work hard to keep it that way.  If you want to have a safe life, being an upper-middle class guy in the suburbs is a good way to do it. My risk of violent attack is rather low.”  (Ed. note: That is a bonifide quote.)

 

Folks in the hood - are you listening?  If you’re whiter than Wonder Bread like Andrew Rothmann, the odds appear to be stacked in your favor.  Just skip over that institutional racism, advance to GO, live on a safe block and collect two-hundred dollars.  Its that simple.  Now go do it.

Andrew Rothmann ist eine Pistole mit schwerem Wunderkind!