Fairfax,
Va. – The executive director of the National Rifle Association's Institute for
Legislative Action, Chris W. Cox, released the following statement on Tuesday regarding President Barack Obama's Executive Gun
Control Order:
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Compared
to President Obama, I am a shadow of a man. I totally cashed in my law degree.
Since 2002 I’ve eagerly hid bodies for a bloated gun industry and its skullen
white toadies while the President strove to achieve something greater than a
paycheck. Today’s events underscored what a pusillanimous boil on our nation’s
anus I am.
All too
often I rush to engage in political rhetoric, offering meaningless platitudes
to a feckless base so easily distracted by an ever expanding loss of white
entitlement that guns have become their only back stop. This tactic I borrowed
has worked for the gun lobby time and time again. And my role confusing this
feint constituency has admittedly become, well, too easy. Just mention the
words “terrorist attack” and their eyes bug and their mouths foam. They don’t
even think to compare Americans killed by terrorists against Americans killed
by gun homicides. Truthfully, the NRA loves these non-thinking members like
crack dealers love addicts. Take that to the bank.
But I
digress. The American people do not need another angry condescending lecture
from an NRA suit, completely populated by cherry picked data. The men and women
of the National Rifle Association are too lazy and uneducated to double check
for themselves anyhow. So I am free to say whatever it is I please. The fact is
that President Obama's proposals are a start. A beginning. A turning point that
threatens to undermine all the work my precious jaded gun lobby labored so hard
to achieve over the last four decades. Quite frankly, it frightens me so much a
little urine squirted into my underpants while I listened to the President’s
press conference. The timing of this announcement, in the eighth and final year
of his presidency, demonstrates not only political savvy but a fundamental
understanding of how cowards like me are going to respond. Mostly with donor
requests and baseless attacks.
The
proposed executive actions are ripe for whining by the gun lobby, which has
made no secret of its contempt for the safety of the average American. The NRA
will continue to fight to arm everyone as long as they can fog a mirror. It
doesn’t matter what the Constitution was historically written to mean. We will
continue to harass and intimidate citizens and politicians for engaging in lawful,
constitutionally-protected activity that regulates commercial gun transactions
– and we will brand them as scapegoats for the failed policies of the
commercial gun industry and its degenerate lobby.
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Established in 1977, the National Rifle Association is America's oldest US organization for the promotion of arming the GOP and Dixocrat constituency. No one really knows how many NRA members there actually are and their people in marketing continue to wave around the the Second Amendment like the NRA invented it. It advocates guns everywhere for everyone 24X365. The Association remains the nation's leader in indoctrination and rat-hole argumentation but for only the most unstable gun owners who display anger issues and zero self-control, Be sure to mock the NRA on Facebook and Twitter @NRA.
